His Excellency,
Warm greetings from an obedient citizen who obeys the law only when the police are watching! I write, with great humility and mild sarcasm, to officially apply for the newly imagined but urgently needed national post, Minister for the Non-Complaint Economy (M.N.C.E.).
Your Excellency, permit me to submit that Ghana is sitting on a treasure chest not buried under the ground, but parked on our roads, displayed in our rearview mirrors, and laminated in our expired licenses.
We call it the “Non-Complaint Economy.” It is vast, vibrant, and very viable. If only we could tap into it, our national budget would overflow faster than Kaneshie traffic on a Monday morning.
1. Why We Need a Non-Complaint Minister
Your Excellency, our economy may be struggling, but our indiscipline is booming! Every red light jumped, every road sign ignored, every vehicle driven with a “roadworthy sticker” older than its driver, all represent untaxed opportunities. It is time to bring fiscal order to our disorder.
You have ministers for roads, transport, finance, and even sanitation. But none is responsible for monetizing our most abundant national resource, non-compliance. I humbly offer myself to lead this noble cause.
2. Vision and Mission
My vision is simple:
“To transform everyday lawlessness into lawful revenue.”
And my mission:
“If you can’t obey, at least pay.”
Under this ministry, indiscipline will finally pay its dues, literally.
3. Potential Revenue Streams
a) Traffic Jumping (a National Pastime)
Your Excellency, Ghanaian drivers have mastered the ancient art of traffic gymnastics, overtaking from the right, left, middle, and occasionally, the pavement.
But what if we used technology, dashcams, drones, and automatic ticketing systems, to fine offenders in real time? The Ministry of Finance could collect enough to fix every pothole twice and still have change to buy sirens for Parliamentarians who “don’t like traffic.”
b) Non-Observance of Road Signs
Our people see road signs not as commands but as suggestions.
“STOP” means “Slow small.”
“NO PARKING” means “I’m just waiting for someone.”
“SPEED LIMIT 50” means “Let’s test if my car can reach 100.”
By imposing instant digital fines for these interpretive performances, we will create the Sign-Reading Revival Fund (SRRF) to reward those rare souls who actually obey the signs.
c) Non-Renewal of Road Worthiness
Some of our vehicles have been “roadworthy” since Rawlings’ time, yet they still gallop confidently across potholes. A digital inspection system can automatically detect expired stickers and debit the offender’s MoMo wallet faster than you can say “DVLA.”
Imagine the revenue! Imagine the reduced accidents! Imagine the heartbreak of drivers who can no longer sweet-talk their way out of fines.
d) Expired Driver’s Licenses
Some licenses expired before Facebook was invented. Yet their owners drive like Formula 1 racers. With national biometric systems, we can instantly identify and fine expired license holders perhaps even reward those who renew on time with discounted insurance.
e) Miscellaneous Non-Compliance (The “Etcetera” Department)
Helmetless okada riders, seatbelt-free passengers, and those who treat indicators as Christmas decorations all shall contribute to the National Indiscipline Tax Fund (NITF). Every act of defiance will henceforth be a donation to national development.
4. Economic and Social Benefits
Your Excellency, the Non-Complaint Ministry will not only raise revenue but also raise consciousness. Once people realize their bad behavior is draining their mobile money, obedience will rise faster than fuel prices after a budget reading.
We could even attract foreign investors! Imagine a global conference in Accra titled: “Innovating Through Indiscipline: Turning Chaos into Cash.”
We’ll invite drivers from Lagos, Nairobi, and Johannesburg for benchmarking. Ghana will become the Silicon Valley of Sanctions!
5. Institutional Framework
I humbly propose the following departments under the Non-Complaint Ministry: Directorate of Excuses and Explanations (DEE): To catalogue Ghana’s top 100 excuses, including “Officer, my uncle works at DVLA” and “I was rushing to church.”
Bumper-to-Bumper Affairs Bureau (BBAB): To handle tailgating and road rage diplomacy. Department of Digital Dodging (DDD): For tracking those who say, “Officer, let me park properly,” and never return.
Enforcement Taskforce: Motto “We fine because we care.”
6. Personal Qualifications
I qualify perfectly for this ministry because:
I have personally witnessed every category of non-compliance listed above.
I possess a valid driver’s license (which I promise to renew this year).
And most importantly, I have mastered the fine Ghanaian art of laughing through pain, the skill every public servant truly needs.
7. Conclusion
Your Excellency, as Ghanaians, we have complained enough about indiscipline. It is time to commercialize it! With your blessing, the Ministry of None Compliance will make sure every “small offense” makes a big difference to our budget.
May we never waste a good act of misconduct again.
Yours patriotically,
